I’m Too Old For College…

You’re never too old to accomplish a dream might be a predictable response to this statement, however I’m beginning to second guess my master plan.

I attended my mandatory orientation last week and was utterly overwhelmed.

Please indulge me for a moment while I  give you a little background on my prior scholastic experience. (No judging please =)

I’ll start right off the bat with….I did not graduate high school (gasp…I know…the horror!) mainly because I was an immature kid, but honestly I thought going to the beach and hanging out with my burn out friends was entirely more fun than attending boring classes with snobby people… so I just didn’t go. I also had copped out by thinking I wasn’t a smart person, so why even bother- (intelligent..ehhh)

When I was eighteen, and living on my own, trying to support myself without obtaining the most basic of educational requirements  (graduation), I realized the major error of my decision and registered for night classes to earn my diploma. (I succeeded and was proud of my young self for that one!)

When I was 19, I made another positive step in the right direction, and enrolled in community college; I  wanted to give taking higher level classes a go and attain an ever so coveted degree, which by the way I would’ve been the first one in my immediate family to achieve…I was also pleasantly surprised to find out I  did not have a learning disability, but a “listening to the instructor” problem. Once I focused my attention- made an attempt to comprehend- I was indeed completely capable of learning and didn’t do half bad in my courses either. Unfortunately, I allowed the pressures of work, school, bills and all the details of my life to interfere with my education; I resolved to take a short break from school and return when I was able to restore a little balance to my situation.

Guess what happened…

Erica Ford Chloe

And then…

Erica 3 kids

I made being a mom my priority. Which, made me incredibly happy!

I’ve attended community college off and on over the past 18 years in an effort to finish up that elusive AA degree… making progress but, never quite getting to a point where I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Until Now…

I’m finally at the crossroads…

My choices are to get a bachelor’s in some business related field at my local State/Community college…but truthfully, I don’t have even the slightest interest in these subjects what so ever.

OR

I love literature and reading, I want to learn to write properly, and study creative writing…I can only accomplish this by attending a state university…

This leads to the dilemma of…AGE

University is obviously and rightly so, geared for the 20 something’s lifestyle…  I’m 42

My daughter is in college for goodness sake…I would be attending with her peers..

Needless to say I’m terrified, and wondering if this is really the right path for me,

This is kind of how it feels…

Source

I’m torn…I’m certain I will regret not attending simply because I don’t fit the typical college mold…and really, I’m not there to make new friends…it would be nice of course, but it’s not my main motive.

Orientation was awkward to say the least, I considered walking away at least twenty different times, but I thankfully persevered. Around 1:00 the staff divided us into groups according to our majors, for class advising…this was the highlight of my day. The other English majors were kind and thoughtful, one girl even smiled at me and said she hoped we would be in a class together. I began to feel a little more at ease with being there, and the required coursework is completely appealing to me. I’m actually, for once, excited about the learning process… I think I’m going to give it a shot, what do I really have to lose anyway, except maybe a little of my pride.

Wish me luck!

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2 thoughts on “I’m Too Old For College…

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